Hope

Hope .....

It's such a little word isn't it? But yet on the other hand so huge.  

For the first time in a long time I really have hope that I am taking strides to battle my illness & take control of my life.

When you become debilitated with something whether an illness, a situation, a life-event, your confidence hits rock bottom.  The simplest of tasks feels like an undoable feat that you are completely incapable of performing & this in turn leaves you feeling utterly useless.

Whether its your mind or body that is affected - it makes no odds.  Your dependence upon someone else to get you through your day, eats away at you, gnaws at you & the core of your being, building up an anger that escalates with each day.  Negativity is a parasite that breeds & soon you have given up & given in to a way of life, no an existence that is a shadow of your former self.  Negative. wins.

I know with M.E. it strikes life's givers, life's earth angels.  Those that thrive on helping others being OK. The busy people who often live life taking on more & more & not stopping (case in question apparent).

So, with the parasite, the crash of life in tatters around your feet, you have to take help, accept it but most of all kick your butt hard or get a good friend to do it!!!  

Unless you do, there is a very big chance you will be wallowing in misery eternally - I joke about a hog wallowing in mud & sometimes we have to do what we have to do.  Please don't  think I say those words easily, I myself have suffered from a form of depression since I was 17 years old (if only I knew then what I know now)- isn't hindsight a genie you wish you could demand x3 wishes from, a sliding doors effect with a positive result guaranteed.  

When I first became ill with M.E. my mum said to me, instead of all these jobs you have, you get to do the one you say you were born wanting to do - be a mum! In that sentence she have me "hope".

I attended CBT, cognitive behavioural therapy & learnt that even though I may have projected happy on the outside, my head didn't reflect it on the inside.  I learnt that I had to be positive, my glass should be half full. Stress & negativity is so utterly draining that it takes on a life all of its own. It takes constant practice, constant review & study.  Positivity gives you a buzz, negativity doesn't. The people important to you & your life don't have to reach the positivity bat you set - you have a choice, either counter-act their negativity with positivity, expect their response & more forward or relegate them to acquaintance not friend.  Friends need to share your belief structure & ideals. Help you positively take your life foward & support you.  Or at least if not, be able to have their own positive alternative in their world!

So I have a hope, to help me cope, with losing weight, be less of a state. To help me energize, without a compromise, to feel alive with a health that thrives.

This to me is so huge, I want to feel better, spend less time resting in bed, get out more & while my girls are around demonstrate more energized resilience so they get the very best out of Mummy who suffers from M.E.

Eventually they will forget to label me with being poorly, unwell or with a condition, because I will be mum who just does.

New Diet - A Time for Change

Sometimes there comes a time when an opportunity arises to try something new & to try something different.  Change is a positive thing!

Some of you might be surprised to see that I am undertaking a brand new diet that has overtaken Weight Watchers in America as THE healthy way to lose weight & feel great.

I still wholeheartedly support Slimming World & their eating plans for without them I wouldn't have had my amazing children or 10 years of the best job I have had BUT.....

Sometimes it gives you a new lease of energy & results to mix things up.  I am starting a 90 day challenge with Body by Vi - which will fit into my life, it's packed with so much of the good stuff that is vital to me with my M.E. that the health benefits will help me feel better & energised as well as lose weight.  The challenge is 3 stone 42lbs in 90 days.  A goal which I am going to work hard to achieve. 

I have been given such positive feedback from people suffering from M.E. & Fibro who, since commencing their own challenges have noticed a significant improvement to their symptoms.  I will so everything I can to fight for my health - without exception.

Competitive Sport

It is such an argumentative subject.  We all have our opinions & most of them are as strong mine, regardless if you are for or against.

Each child has their own unique gift, some will grow up to be the next Jessica Ennis, some the next Stella McCartney, some Taylor Swift, or Keira Knightly. 

 In each area of our children's life there will be competition, it can't be avoided.  From who will play Mary or the Donkey in the Nativity Play, to who gets the most merit marks, who's in which colour group in infant school ( alas parents always know red is top).  It's life.  You compete when you play football for a knock around in the park, when you play a computer game, even when you attend a concert you compete for the best seats. The crux is that some people are academic, some creative, some sporty.  If we dont positively encourage them, then how will they strive to positively compete for jobs, we won't as a nation produce sport winners because they won't have the edge that competiveness needs to give them to excel in whichever their chosen area is.

I believe it's how you handle any situation with children, positive reassurance! My daughter didn't win, but I shouted like an Olympians mother, she did her absolute best & pushed herself smiling as she took part.  Doing her best is what counts, in the same way as academically she applies the same principles.  

If I take my two daughters they are like chalk & cheese.  But no matter what they do we actively encourage them to do their best, if they don't get full marks or aren't selected for a team it doesn't matter as long as they have done their best. They have no pressure from over pushy parents.  Sometimes you win a few, sometimes you don't, but if you never partake in life's events then you are going to miss out on so many adventures!

Cassidy goes Pop!

🌺Forestive🌺 OLLY MURS IN CONCERT at Westonbirt Arberitum 2013 Birthday Treat for Cassidy (who loves him). Also her first concert experience (& Nij's)

This has to be the most refined setting for a concert ever.  As I survey the horizon there are thousands of people having a good old picnic! Toasting with champagne!! Eating cocktail sausages & strawberries. Everyone is smiling in spite of the need for stylish Disney poncho's the green agricultural poncho, the clear see-through cling-film poncho or the PAC-a-mac brigade required to take cover! It was like the Mexican wave of waterproofs but luckily only required a couple of times. For those of you who may be interested, mine was a stylish black n white polka-dot PAC-a-mac that was held over my head like an unberella - much to the amusement of my girls who had to stand immediaty in front of me to be seen through the peephole!

It was another touch & go attendance but push I did - well it was Olly Murs!

Diana Vickers was the warm up act - love her accent & she sang well but truly the crowd were on tenterhooks for a certain person. 

 He came on stage early & wow did he hold a stage presence.  I don't think he stopped dancing the whole set.  He is just like you see him on the telly, funny, chatty, just like a BFF! Wonder if that position is filled.  What a live act! Even better live than on CD - the energy was infectious! I even did a bit of foot-tapping.  Nij was on his feet! Not necessarily dancing but slightly swaying!

The girls were so excited, they took their pennies & bought Olly hats & linyards with VIP passes (if only).

They danced their little hearts & bottoms off. Cassidy in a carefree style, Madison with moves better than Jagger! Boy that girl can dance!  Madison got emotional at Dear Darlin with tears & laughter.  Cassidy having asked at the start of every song when is Olly singing trouble maker - was overjoyed that he saved her best till last.

I sat there and watched.  I am so proud of my daughters, proud that for the entirety of the concert they thanked us both for taking them.  Especially Madison who realised it wasn't her treat but she got to come along too.  It was a great memory maker!

I may have ME, life may not be anything like it used to be but this, this night represents completely what has always been, what completely is & that is - we are Family! The Odam-Smiths!!