Initially I had the preconceived idea that I would be sat in a comfy sofa, joss-sticks smoking around me, with strange music with harps, waterfalls and birds singing in the background whilst I breathed in a deep and relaxing way, occasionally chanting, humming or performing some other bodily noise as demonstrated at the time. I would leave the session smelling of lovely aromatic essential oils, in my slippers, floating on a haze of relaxation and restfulness.
How wrong could I have been???
As with other courses that I have been on, kudos has to go to the team in Gloucester Pain Clinic for their patience and dedication, handling a room full of sceptical individuals who quite frankly are fed up of having to live with chronic pain in their lives, are hacked off with not finding a solution, and are now faced with the fact that they have enrolled on a course that quite frankly isn't what they expected.
What has occurred over the few weeks is a gradual understanding of what 'mindfulness' is, a gradual comradery of individuals on the course and mostly a keeness to see the course through to completion.
Mindfulness isn't about relaxing, it isn't about curing or stopping pain. What it is though, is an awareness of the here and now! How many times have you driven to a destination, arrived and suddenly thought, "goodness gracious me, I don't recall the journey" or words to that effect. How many times, do you listen to someone talking to you & suddenly think, what did they just say? Gone into a room and forgotten what you went in for? Watched your children have their swimming lesson and you miss that vital triumphant moment, because you were too busy looking into thin air, away with the fairies, planning dinner, going through a shopping list, thinking about an upcoming date (hint hint), or even how to get out of seeing the in-laws this weekend? We all do it! Some more so than others.
Our minds are free spirits, they go off at a tangent given the slightest opportunity they are presented with. The busier the person, the freer the mind. That doesn't make sense does it. Think of it as the mind multi-tasking the whole time. If I am honest, I have lived my life in this way for ever. A catchup gossip with a great friend earlier this week highlighted this point, when lovingly she said "you've lived your life full speed 150mph, giving 150% of yourself to everything you do". Therein lies the crux of my problems my whole life, in that little statement.
There is meditation in this skill known as 'mindfulness', but it is more aimed at creating your awareness of the here and now. You don't fail because your mind strays, that's natural, but it's bringing the mind back to focus on the meditation, on the breathing. It's new meditation this week incorporates scanning the body and checking how everything feels. If a part feels painful, tingles, feels numb, then it's about not fighting that feeling, let it wash over, accept it, don't dwell and move to the next part of your body which might not feel painful, but might just be rubbing against the chair, or you feel weighted from a part of your body. Learning to be mindful of ones self is like building up a muscle, you have to exercise it for it to perform to its optimum level, you have to form a habit so that it becomes a part of you.
I had no idea how much this would really help me come to terms with what I was doing, how I was doing it. How my brain was completely away with the fairies. OK, so there are sometimes when I want to be there, but I was too focused on rushing everything at 150mph. Every task I do, is rushed, whether it is eating a meal, drinking a cuppa, even those activities that I am doing to try to help me feel better, such as sewing or crafting. I rush to see the final version which is why, I have so many projects started and unfinished, because they took too long.
Suddenly being mindful to what I have been doing has meant that I was able to be in the moment, watching Madison play netball, seeing how she spaced herself away from the others to get the ball, how crisp her catching was and how good her eye was at identifying the best player to throw to. I have listened to the girls read and tested them on their spellings for the past two days without the tv on, without my Kindle or phone in front of my face, I listened to them, could give them appropriate feedback because I had been in the moment.
I have now programmed my phone with a special mindfulness bell which goes off periodically throughout the day, to make sure that I am 'in the moment' and 'grounded'. I am going to look at a pilates group that I have found that is for those with difficulties. The TV isn't going to be unnecessarily as I don't particularly enjoy a lot of the programmes - except from the British Sewing Bee, which I watch intently, completely in the moment, as opposed to merely looking at the screen, perhaps occasionally following the plot but ultimately looking at it and thinking about other things.
I have an opportunity to really concentrate on all the positive things in my life and this skill will help me to deal with my pain, accept it and try to move away from it so that I can live each moment and enjoy it to the max.
Nothing ventured nothing gained.
There is meditation in this skill known as 'mindfulness', but it is more aimed at creating your awareness of the here and now. You don't fail because your mind strays, that's natural, but it's bringing the mind back to focus on the meditation, on the breathing. It's new meditation this week incorporates scanning the body and checking how everything feels. If a part feels painful, tingles, feels numb, then it's about not fighting that feeling, let it wash over, accept it, don't dwell and move to the next part of your body which might not feel painful, but might just be rubbing against the chair, or you feel weighted from a part of your body. Learning to be mindful of ones self is like building up a muscle, you have to exercise it for it to perform to its optimum level, you have to form a habit so that it becomes a part of you.
I had no idea how much this would really help me come to terms with what I was doing, how I was doing it. How my brain was completely away with the fairies. OK, so there are sometimes when I want to be there, but I was too focused on rushing everything at 150mph. Every task I do, is rushed, whether it is eating a meal, drinking a cuppa, even those activities that I am doing to try to help me feel better, such as sewing or crafting. I rush to see the final version which is why, I have so many projects started and unfinished, because they took too long.
Suddenly being mindful to what I have been doing has meant that I was able to be in the moment, watching Madison play netball, seeing how she spaced herself away from the others to get the ball, how crisp her catching was and how good her eye was at identifying the best player to throw to. I have listened to the girls read and tested them on their spellings for the past two days without the tv on, without my Kindle or phone in front of my face, I listened to them, could give them appropriate feedback because I had been in the moment.
I have now programmed my phone with a special mindfulness bell which goes off periodically throughout the day, to make sure that I am 'in the moment' and 'grounded'. I am going to look at a pilates group that I have found that is for those with difficulties. The TV isn't going to be unnecessarily as I don't particularly enjoy a lot of the programmes - except from the British Sewing Bee, which I watch intently, completely in the moment, as opposed to merely looking at the screen, perhaps occasionally following the plot but ultimately looking at it and thinking about other things.
I have an opportunity to really concentrate on all the positive things in my life and this skill will help me to deal with my pain, accept it and try to move away from it so that I can live each moment and enjoy it to the max.
Nothing ventured nothing gained.
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